I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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