I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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