i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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