is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
