Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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