real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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