Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
