He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you bring me the toilet please
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
