Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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