some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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