I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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