she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize