I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
