apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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