it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
