I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
