Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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