GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Never underestimate the power of titties
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
