He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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