i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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