Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
