erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
