It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
