Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
