just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
