I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
