I only kidnapped one of them. chill
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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