so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
