we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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