Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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