I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
