We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
