i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
