I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize