And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
