Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
