I seem to have left my pride at pride
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
