It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize