i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she looked like the before picture.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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