R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my poor anus
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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