i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
