He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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