The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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