remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
