she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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