First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
