Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
pray to the hookup gods
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
