Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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