ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
