It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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