So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
