Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
