His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
