is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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