Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
