look no pants
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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