Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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