It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
