Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's like heaven, but drunker
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
